Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Things I Have Learned on a Path Called "Alone"

I had high hopes of an upbeat post complete with pictures today. Seems I've exceeded my blog's limit of free photographs. I do not have the emotional energy to add more photo storage because of a migraine. Which I can trace to a stiff neck and shoulders. Brought on by the dread of tomorrow's calendar page: July 13. Two years since I lost D. I can tell myself that I am fine, fine, everything is just fine. But the heart and tensed body beg to differ. So, we will default to semi-upbeat without pictures.

Things I have learned in the past two days/months/years:

  • While I do not normally deal with fear, a sound in the back of the house that sounded like a machete being sharpened did catch my complete and undivided attention late the other night. Two days of trying to track down its source led me to a junebug in a metal guestroom trashcan, desperately trying to beat out an exit. Relief can be expressed in laughter, and some bugs get a reprieve from the homeowner because of their spunky manner.

  • My new best friend is a lightweight leaf blower. It weighs only a few pounds, works on a rechargeable battery and does not require a 2 mile orange extension cord. It holds just enough charge to blow the driveway, sidewalks, decks and porches. Yard work just got a lot easier in this heat.

  • And speaking of heat: Just when you think it can't get any hotter, the car temperature shows 108 degrees. You can't see my pictorial evidence of that because of the before noted photo storage limit. People: the entire state of Texas has been declared a disaster area because of the drought. Yet, we still love this place. And look forward to cooler weather sometime around Thanksgiving. (Oh, that I was kidding about that.)

  • My crazy librarian friend, KG, brought me a care package for my new office. It included a journal with the title "Diary of a First Year Principal" (with the Wimpy Kid graphic altered to look like me), a glass jar full of premium chocolate to share with teachers, and a jar of peanut butter for the days I will miss lunch. (You can tell this woman has been in education for a looooong time.) One of the things I will miss the most about my former school will be Thursday afternoon library periods.

  • My quality friends, the W's, included me in their Saturday evening out. We had dinner at a gourmet grilled cheese sandwich restaurant, followed by dessert at a frozen yogurt restaurant that had Cake Batter flavored fat-free yogurt (accompanied by angels singing "Hallelujah"), and a showing of the musical "Hairspray" at a theater-in-the-round. A. Perfect. Evening.

  • A yard that has been neglected for two years cannot be fixed in a single weekend, or even a single summer. Some things, and not just yards, take longer to heal.

Two years. Quite a journey. No prayers pointed this way tomorrow will be wasted.

So, what are some Big Things I have learned?

Like Christopher Robin told Pooh, "Promise me you will remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
And even more importantly:

Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him."
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
Lamentations 3:21-2


Sarah said...

There's a picture limit on blogger? Oh noo!!!!

I love those closing verses. Oh, thank God for new mercies every morning. Yes, it is good to wait quietly for the Lord.

Waiting quietly is something I need to learn to appreciate.

I will be praying for you tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

I wish we could all meet for dinner Wednesday night and be together.I read peace and strength in your post today... at least you searched for that sound ( june bug) till it was found. :)
We have greater endurance and greater strength than we ever knew was deep down... Blessings to you dear friend. May you FEEL the arms of Jesus as you walk through tomorrow..... CMIL

Dawn said...

Thinking and praying for you today.

Love and blessings, my friend!!!

Lynn said...

Praying for you today. God has given you hope, courage to continue and strength for tomorrow. I am blessed to know you.

V....Vaughan said...

I wish I had read this earlier in the week, Rayeanne :) ...Just love the laughter of imagining the junebug as a machete sharpener! hahaha ...and wondering why you mentioned that you would SHARE that chocolate with your RRCA teacher friends!!! I used towork with that bunch! They will hold you to it, now! (some things are better kept to yourself, friend!) ...I love you, and prayed for you today while I walked! Let's walk, sometime!

Buttercup said...

Lots of prayers for you and for relief from the heat. Gourmet grilled cheese sandwich restaurant?? I would really like that and the frozen yogurt. Perfect night for me, too.