Sunday, May 23, 2010

Keeping Busy

When my daughter was visiting from out of state last weekend, she asked a very interesting question, "What do you do at night now, Mom?"

When D was still alive, I always got home as quickly as possible to spend time with him and see if there was anything he needed. Now I tend to drag out the errands after school, meet friends, do a little shopping...anything to get home home a little later, so the evening is not quite so long.

This weekend was pretty packed with activities. I met two dear friends after school on Friday at Starbucks, and bought a wonderful dinner and magazine at Whole Foods on the way home. On Saturday morning I finally got my Mother's Day bushes planted just in time to clean up for a 50th Anniversary party at 1:00 pm, followed by a high school graduation at 4:00 pm. Today, (Sunday) I went to church and heard our guest speaker, Don Piper, who wrote the book "90 Minutes in Heaven". D had read and enjoyed that book last spring, and the author's words today were very thought provoking for me. D's daughter was in town visiting a friend this weekend, and we had a great lunch at LaMadeline.  After we finished, I drove to a town about an hour from my home to a wonderful antique warehouse I kept seeing advertised on Craigslist. Stopped for groceries on the way home at an out of town store (oh! the adventure), and made it home without much evening to spare.

I have decided one of the things I miss most about D is sharing about my day when I get home. Maybe that is why I don't like the evenings at home to be too long. Somehow, when you share your story it just seems to matter more. 

Interestingly, I read a study this weekend that said the more women engage with their husbands in the evening, talking about their days, the faster their cortisol (stress hormone) dropped. (An aside: the men's cortisol levels tapered more slowly when talking with their wives. Life on Mars proven.) Since I mostly share conversation with my six-year old best friends during the day in my classroom, maybe the lack of adult conversation at night is something I need to work on. I could always call friends and tell all the jokes I've heard during the day. (Most recent: "Mrs. O: Want to hear a joke about a rope? SKIP IT! Get it: SKIP IT, but I mean skip the joke and that is like skipping a rope. Get it?" Somehow, the explanation of the joke is usually funnier than the joke itself.)

(Oh, dear, I really do need to seek out adult conversation. I'm wanting to tell you at least three more first grade jokes I heard this week.)

So, my homework for these last SEVEN DAYS OF SCHOOL (that felt delicious to type out) is more adult interaction to help lessen the stress levels.

 I've heard dark chocolate does that, too.


Abby said...

And blogging!!! :)

Dawn said...

The stories are always good told over a cup of coffee, too! (Yes, that was a hint! LOL)

Be blessed!

Craig Weeks said...

Ok, that is a *real* lesson in how we can love our wives in a practical, beneficial way. Thanks.

Sarah said...

Keep the first grade jokes coming! I loved the skipping rope joke.

Susan Ramey Cleveland said...

I still have moments when something will happen or I'll think of something--and just for a moment I think, "Oh I have to tell Vann about this." And I do talk to him, and sometimes I think he talks back.