Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Good, the Bad and the Very Ugly

THE BAD

I had Big Plans for this weekend. That were swiftly interrupted by a trip to the emergency room this morning.

I bought a ceramic curling iron yesterday and decided to give it a go this morning before family came over to take me to lunch. I cranked it up to the highest setting , and promptly dropped it on the carpet. I had the clarity of mind to step back so it didn't land on my bare feet. I remember thinking I shouldn't grab it by the black end, because that end of my Chi = the Dangerous Side. Hmmm. Seems there is a different Wrong End of the newest instrument of hair torture in my home.

I closed my entire right hand around the barrel for a nano second. You know: the amount of time for the brain to scream "DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT!" Because it was setting 24 worth of The Hot.

I immediately grabbed a handful of ice as the relatives stopped by to pick me up for lunch. With a surprise detour to have a doctor assess the damage. Apparently, icing it quickly kept the burn from going too deep: "only" first and second degree burns that needed to be medicated, wrapped and elevated with ice packs. And pain meds that caused me to lose the remainder of the afternoon.

I am convinced doctors do not figure in the size of a person when prescribing medication. I am 5 feet tall. I'm thinking a 6 foot, 300 pound man would receive the same Rx. Summarizing: I no longer feel the pain in my hand, but I also do not have the mental activity to remember my children's names. Nor can I follow any television shows more complicated than "Storage Wars" or "Auction Kings". My brain is reduced to the lowest possible denominator by this medicine.

THE GOOD

Young Son stayed for a while with me to make sure I was going to be okay. While we were visiting (read: he was talking, I was listening through a legally induced drug fog), he said, "Wow. Look at the size of that lizard on the carpet by the window." My arch nemesis and quasi-roommate The Lizard (discussed in this post) was staring me down. Probably knowing I was vulnerable to attack. Little did he know that Young Son has trapped critters for lo, these 24 years and said lizard was going down. Using a small trash can, file folder and trashbag, the freeloader was evicted to the outdoors in a matter of seconds.

THE VERY UGLY

(And you probably thought I was exaggerating.)

Good riddance, wayward reptile. At least the skin on my hand will heal. You shall always have lizard skin. Outside. Where you belong.

5 comments:

Buttercup said...

Glad the lizard is gone, and will be praying for a very quick and complete recovery for you.

JMom said...

So sorry about your hand--but glad for sweet sons--and the capture of that scary reptile. yikes!

Anonymous said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A lizard that looks like THAT~!!! He is a SMALL dinosaur living in the good of your inside land!! EWWWWWWW.... thank you to YOUNG SON!
An OWWWWWWWWWWWW... so painful to burn your soft hand skin!!!
Live in your drug induced fog happliy while your hand heals knowing the lizard is burning his ugly self outside!!! ~A CMIL

Craig Weeks said...

Hey! That ain't no gekko!

(So sorry about your hand. And retraining myself from lame attempts at humor.)

Anne Smith said...

you are a brave woman. so sorry about your hand!