Tuesday, October 27, 2009


You may have read about my struggle to buy a door from Lowe's in this post.

Because I thought I was...what's the word? A customer, or something. You see, they gladly took my money on September 21, promising me a new door and installation. They have my money; I have nothing. Still. Yet. Again.

Lowe's called last Thursday to tell me my door was in and my installer, who has already told me several whoppers, was to call me within 48 hours. Four days pass, installer calls Sunday night. Oh: those 48 hours only count during working days, I'm told. So why is he calling on a Sunday evening?

Anyhoo, the only time installer can come is between 12 and 2:00 on Tuesday. I work, I say. Sorry, he says. I ask Loyal Sister to come over. She waits at my house from 12 until ten minutes until 2. The phone rings. It is Lowe's installer: the door is in, but it has a dent. He won't be coming, the door must be reordered and it will take TWO MORE WEEKS. (Back away from the caps: they foreshadow anger.)

Loyal Sister smells something fishy in the state of Denmark. (I can quote Shakespeare during an angry blog on Lowe's. I'm fancy like that.) She wants to know two things: when was the dent discovered? And why did they wait until the last minute to call her when she'd been at my house waiting for two hours? Seems the good people at Lowe's knew the door was dented for a while. Seems installer knew the door was dented for a while.

And that is when Loyal Sister turned the reins of this trainwreck (I can also mix my metaphors during an angry blog on Lowe's, apparently) over to her husband, Loyal Brother-in-Law. Who is a construction superintendent for a large and nationally known commercial builder. He is not to be messed with. He is a man's man who Gets Things Done. Quickly. In his world there will not be a two week wait for a door that is already a month late. If the people at Lowe's who talked with him on the phone have any eyebrows and eyelashes left, they may consider getting this job done. Quickly. The heat is on.

I'm sure you'll wait with baited breath for the update on the door that would be red. In the meantime, I'll throw you another little tidbit of an update. Perhaps you read my blog about Barry Manilow canceling the show I had tickets for here.

I'm watching Entertainment Tonight (a guilty pleasure with too much of the family Goslin and the weather balloon dad) and who do you suppose they are featuring? Why, our Barry doing a concert at the Hollywood Bowl. There is nothing wrong with that man's hips. Nothing, I tell you. He is performing just fine. So why can't he perform in Las Vegas in two weeks?

I think I'm handing Barry over to Loyal Brother-in-law, too. I wouldn't be surprised if he could cause Barry to perform on my porch. In front of my new, red front door. They are both already paid for.

Thank you Greg and Marsha Brady for teaching me a great slice of financial wisdom in the early 70s: "caveat emptor": let the buyer beware. Next time I will heed your warning.

Awaiting the rest of the story...


Lynn said...

LOL I am enjoying your sense of humor but get that Lowe's is not high on your list these days! Wouldn't be on mine either!! I'm glad you have Loyal Brother-in-law in your life to go to bat for you with them! Things will happen now, hopefully. Here we have Home Depot and the story is very similar, not sure why nothing seems to work the way it's supposed to. I've had friends who actually just went and loaded their own lumber, etc because to wait for someone to help could take a long time and then it's often the wrong item!! I don't understand how it can be that complicated but it seems to be no matter where you live, Alberta or Texas!!

Vicki A. said...

Oh, My! I wish you could be sitting here beside me right now and hearing me laugh! It takes a lot to make me laugh while I am by myself and you sure did it. Picturing Barry Manilow singing at your red front door is too much!

Anonymous said...

Brother-in-law has bear claws! :D