I am part of a group of friends that email each other news of the mundane on a regular basis. There is nothing like an old friend who is genuinely interested in the tiny details of your daily life. If you are looking for a coherent and well-constructed post, move along. Nothing for you here today.
Yesterday, I missed my daily trip to the gym because I had some pressing Garage Sales to attend to. I could do an entire blog series on the Science of Garage Sales. You know, the Type A Sellers who put their worn out things on the driveway and want the original price that they paid for them. The Type B Sellers who just want to get rid of things and will all but deliver them to your home. And the Fellow Buyers! Some are pushy and rude. Some are gracious and unhurried. And some suddenly forget English and offer fifty cents for something clearly marked (and worth) ten dollars. My favorite legendary G.S. scene played out between this kind of a buyer and a seller who was displaying designer clothes. When seller was offered pennies for a dress that had set her back a weekly paycheck, she dramatically clutched the dress to her chest and declared (loudly), "This dress will become my death shroud before I will sell it to you for that!" That story has become legend in my family.
So, continuing on in this stream-of-consciousness thinking I seem to possess in the Texas heat, I needed some exercise to make up for the lack of it that morning. Walking outside was not an option because the temperature at the neighborhood Walgreen's marquee declared 117 degrees. I know that some of the temperature was spiked by asphalt and highway intersections, but still! I needed a cooler place to walk.
Enter my neighborhood IKEA. I could walk mindlessly in the air conditioned maze while admiring all things Swedish. D said he felt comfortable with me being out for about 2 hours. Didn't take quite that long, but egads! IKEA is a big place! I was entertained during my walk by a continual announcement of "E.M. meet your family at the check-out". I know a man by this name and couldn't wait to find out if it was his family tapping their feet at said check-out. I used to charge my son a dollar when I had to have him paged in Target and Walmart oh-those-many-years-ago when his hearing stopped working in the video game departments. I digress. Again.
I returned home to find D watching The Travel Channel. Specifically: Man vs. Food. Have you seen that show? This guy goes to restaurants with extreme (read that large or hot) offerings and attempts to eat them. We watched one episode about Eagle's Restaurant in Boston that offers a burger with five pounds of beef, 20 slices of cheese, 20 slices of bacon and five pounds of fries for $50. Man challenged a former worker of this restaurant to an eat-off of this Challenge Burger. They had one hour to eat as much of the food as possible. The winner was determined when they weighed what food was left. They both ate over seven pounds of food. (I kept waiting for one of them to do self-CPR on his own chest to keep the blood pumping through a clogged heart.) Man lost by ounces. But, he was able to continue on to a New York Deli in the next episode.
At this deli, we were treated to the sight of Reuben sandwiches that weighed one pound each. Makes you swallow kind of hard, doesn't it? D loves those sandwiches, but is such a careful eater that it has been a long time since he has had one. He looked over at me from his Archie chair and said, "Maybe we should get one of those tomorrow." (Not from New York, but a local deli that claims (and seems) to be authentic.) He continued, "I guess eating one is not going to make any difference at this point." And then we both laughed long and hard at his little self-depreciating humor.
Several years ago, I taught with a woman who was one of the most healthy eaters I had ever known. She developed brain cancer and declared her new diet the, "Eat whatever the ____ I want diet." (Insert colorful adjective she would have never used in front of her kindergarten students.) Maybe we will semi-adopt that diet philosophy. But without the colorful adjective.
So today, I will be making a run to that deli. I know D will only eat a few bites, but I hope they are mouthfuls of happiness for him. He deserves it.