Monday, August 3, 2009

Songs That Make the Whole World Sing

 I took some great pictures today and loaded them on my MacBook, photoshopped them in new! and innovative! and great! ways. Went to upload them to Blogger...and find they are trapped in some kind of bloggy purgatory. I see them on iPhoto; I do not see them at Blogger uploads. So: you will not see the house I'm staying in, the house the Bush family stays at in Kennebunkport or the hotel that generations of Mainers (yes, that is how they refer to themselves) have stayed in called "The Colony". (A return to gentler times before there was a need for pictures that hovered somewhere out there in the blog-isphere.)

So, let's just cut to the chase: One of the thoughts I came to Maine with was from my friend K. She said that during a difficult time in her life (and trust me: it was difficult) she felt like God "took over" her mind and showed her truth in areas in which she needed healing. I came with that prayer on my lips: "Take over my mind, Lord..."  as I've struggled with some regrets and some things I wish that I could "do over" concerning D. And I've seen truth come and replace regret and failings in my mind. There is nothing more that I could have done. God ordained the time and the circumstances. I could not have changed  them. Because I am not God. Revelation.

Some other things I have wrestled with were the questions 'What do I do now? Will I ever feel joy again? Why do I feel guilty about going on alone?" Even as I asked the questions, a precious friend, C, texted me  Psalm 16:11 "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fulness of joy; in Your right hand are pleasures forever." I'd say that verse laid out all the answers.

I don't want you to think that I spend all my time with my hands on either side of my head writhing in agony while I'm in Maine. After all, large lobsters are going for about $5 right now and the cool weather keeps me outside with eyes to the ocean and face to the sun.  

But I did discover something else wonderful. I have D's Ipod, and as I was scrolling through his playlists I  came across this list:

"For R" (That's me.) 
And these are the songs he uploaded during June and left for me to listen to:

Keeper of the Stars
Take My Breath Away
Wind Beneath My WIngs
You Light Up My Life
You're My World
The First Time Ever I saw Your Face
When A Man Loves  a Woman
You'll Never Walk Alone
I Will Always Love You
When You Say Nothing At All
The Very Thought of You
Our Love is Here to Stay
Can't Take My Eyes Off of You
Didn't We Almost Have It All
The Impossible Dream

(What? No Barry? As in Manilow? Further inspection shows a Manilow playlist...)

I may not have technology all figured out, but I know a perfect gift when I see one. Or hear one. These are the songs he felt represented us. And that is a whole lot of love and blessing that is adding to my healing.


Buttercup said...

What a fabulous playlist. And five dollar lobsters. And Kennebunkport. Enjoy!
I had so much guilt after September 11. How could I have fun -- joy was inconceivable -- after such a tragedy? Somehow, slowly I was able to enjoy life. No easy answers.

asteinocher said...

I do hope you find those pictures in the blogisphere!!!
What a kind gift D left, a man of few words who says soooo much thru his actions!
So glad to hear the healing is coming, little by little, step by step, keep walking in Maine!

Anonymous said...

Dee from Tennessee

The playlist -- what a priceless gift.

Anonymous said...

I continue to be amazed. God is so good as He continues to sprinkle you with blessings from David. How comforting and healing I know that is. Our technology has so many ways to bless us if we use it the right way. It is also a faith builder for us all as we watch your life unfold before us. Rest in God's arms today friend!!!!
Patty R.