Monday, August 10, 2009

Welcome Back to Reality

Today, I decided to return to my classroom and face the future. I think the thing I have dreaded the most about going back to work is not knowing who knows about D and who does not know. I actually woke up last night praying about it at 1 am. I felt like God was saying, "Why don't you just assume that everyone DOES know?" Deal. Because that means I don't have to tell the story over and over and over. And then pat and comfort people who are learning the first time right before my own eyes. 

So, I went up to my campus and ran into at least 10 teachers who were wonderful and encouraging. (And one Dad who asked, "HEY! How is D doing?" Drat. So, I told him and patted his arm and felt badly that he'd asked the question and was finding out by the pencil dispenser in the hallway outside the office. Not that there is any good place to find out.)

I think if I just kind of keep going up to set up my room this week I'll be acclimated by the time Inservice begins next Monday. We'll do meetings for a week, I'll meet the parents and the students next Friday. And on Monday the 24th, I'll close the door to the room containing my 19 new six-year-old best friends, and life will seem familiar again. This will be my 21st year in a classroom and I've honestly never had a bad year yet: teaching is  an amazing profession. I'm at a great campus with hardworking and dedicated colleagues. I'll have a routine and schedule again. This is a very good thing.

One of the hardest things I faced this summer was the timing of D's illness. I just kept throwing prayers to heaven, telling God I trusted Him for the timing. After losing D, I still had almost five weeks before school started to begin the process of healing. I am forever grateful for the buffer of that timing. 

I'll post the after pictures when the room starts to shape up. And I think my life is going to start shaping up soon, as well.


Buttercup said...

Love seeing your classroom. Sending a hug for your journey to go well.

Gina said...

As a former teacher myself, setting up the room for a new year was always a highlight for me. I still get excited when I see school supplies at the store!

Thanks for sharing through your grief. It is always difficult for me to know what to say to those who have lost a loved one.
You showed great compassion to your co-worker who was hearing the news for the first time. May God bless.