Time Keeps on Slipping into the Future

Most days, I wake up without an alarm around 6 am. I make coffee, read the paper, have my quiet time and go to the gym. I usually stop by the grocery store on the way home for my few hunter/gatherer needs ( I am still in denial that I need food in this house), and I go home. When I walk back in the door, it is usually about 8 am. My  first thought is always, "Now what?"

There is a looooong distance to the horizon of bedtime at night. Thankfully, this week many friends have called to ask me to do something with them. After a lunch out, they usually have a tentative question like, "I have to go pick out some paint colors, would you want to come?" Well, YES. Or someone will call and say, "I'm stopping by Barnes and Nobles before I come by..." and before their sentence is finished I'm inviting myself along for the ride to my favorite bookstore. Filling time.

To my delight (or  regret) I have found that social networking can fill many o'  the hours. Yahoo mail, Facebook and Blogging (both writing and reading them) are good for an unplanned evening. 

TV is just not working for me. My husband was always in charge of The Box, as our remote control was lovingly named. I used to give him a hard time about all the programs he watched that I labeled "autopsy shows". You know, all the CSIs (and Horatio with his bent head), Law and Order and anything that popped up graphic depictions of severed body parts during dinner time. Now that The Box is all mine, I can't think of a thing I want to watch.  I want Melissa to win "The Next Food Network Star" (a fellow Texan!), but I can't really remember when the show is on. I loved the kids on "Jon and Kate", but that is the exact reason I will no longer watch them: I don't want to watch their family and lives fall apart before my eyes. Trust me, as a child of divorce and a mother who went through an unwanted divorce, there is no such thing as "kids are resilient and they will do fine." That is like dropping a bomb in the house and saying no one will be affected by it.  Soapbox safely put away now.

My next mindless diversion is that I'm going to Maine today for  a week. My plan is to take as little as possible with me (no curlers, makeup, jewelry and as few clothes as possible.) Hey: Young Son did six weeks in Costa Rica with one backpack. I was inspired beyond belief  about how little you really have to take to travel and still have a great time. Married Daughter is kind of aghast at my minimal suitcase contents. I think she fears I'll become one of those women who push all their belongings in a grocery cart down the street. I'm not there. Yet.

My goal in Maine is to rest and reflect enough to be ready to re-enter the classroom on August 24. My 18 brand new six-year-old best friends will show up for first grade that day. I want to give them my best effort. I have found in the past years of handing D's cancer that being in the classroom with my students was the best medicine for me. I'm hoping that is going to be the case again.  I am also reminding myself that I always feel restless toward the end of a teaching-less summer: I just do better with more structure.

So, bloggy friends, I'm not sure if I will be posting during the next week or not. I'm taking my laptop, but don't know if the small town I'll be in offers wireless connections. I do want you to know I've appreciated the comments you've left over the past several weeks. The kindness of friends and complete strangers has been a balm to my soul. I no longer believe that social networking is "impersonal".  You've left your handprints on my heart by reaching through your computer screen to where I am. And I will be forever grateful for that.