Sunday, July 19, 2009

...but Sunday's coming...

I have not been to church in about a month. D could no longer attend, and I found myself running into people who would cry when they saw me. I also found myself comforting them and say, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" over and over. I think I was apologizing for making them sad with my presence and the reality of our situation. It just became easier not to go.

Today, Young Son, Married Daughter and Loyal Sister accompanied me into the sanctuary. I've found it hard to be in crowds lately, so I was thankful for the moral support.  Our pastor is a wonderful speaker, but all I really remember are lots of hugs and sweet words from the people around us. In my mind, we ripped the bandaid off, got back on the horse, opened for business or (choose your own tired cliche). I think it will be much easier to start back again next Sunday.

For lunch the above crew also accompanied me to the restaurant D and I always went to for Sunday brunch. He was very much a creature of habit and loved some of his routines. This place literally saved a booth for him each Sunday so he would not have to travel too far with his walker. The next thing we did after lunch was tour Georgetown to check on the progress of some homes he had helped design.  We took that same tour today. To my enormous relief, it was a very sweet brunch and drive. If my family thinks I am losing it with my required rituals, they are not saying anything. They just happily accompany me on my rounds and hand over the tissues as needed.

Last night Married Daughter and I tried a movie. Not so much of a success. I can't seem to concentrate that long, and apparently there is a reason some movies are quickly kicked over to the Dollar Theater. 

When we got home, Married Daughter set up a Facebook account for me. I've raged against that machine for a long time, but figure I'm going to be embracing much change for a while, so why not? How sad is this: She started signing me up for friends. I figure no one is going to say "no" to me at this point, so she predicted I'd have 300 by this morning. Not a bad estimate, actually.

So, baby steps and baby hurdles jumped. Back in church. Back to places I used to go with D. And a move toward something new in the world of Facebook. 

And big steps: a friend is letting me have her home in Maine for a week. I will attempt to get my classroom set up this week with the help of my loyal crew and finish off some of this endless paperwork. Then I will take off for Maine where the high is 69 degrees most days, and the quiet will cover me and hopefully minister peace to me.

Pressing on.


Buttercup said...

Maine is so lovely in the summer. My family took vacations on the coast and inland -- Belgrade Lakes -- and they are wonderful memories. Plus it's blueberry time and there are steamer clams and lobster! Enjoy!

melanieb said...

Maine! What a great place to see! It's on my list of places to visit. Take lots of pictures! I like your blog so much. Keep writing. You're good. Ever consider turning your blog into a hard cover book? You can do it here...

JMom said...

HEY THERE. I am just catching up on several days of your posts...praying for your healing heart. We are going to be in Maine next week. Will you e-mail me at lotsofscottsATgmail? It would be crazy if our paths crossed! You will LOVE it there...what a place to getaway to!