I went to church this morning thinking of her words. Married Daughter has kidded me that I will be sitting much closer to the front in early service now. (D loved the back row.) As I walked in, a precious couple invited me to sit with them, and I followed them to the third row from the front. I guess I am capable of change!
I kept looking around during the service and thinking, "How do people make it without God?" If I did not have Him as my anchor for hope, healing and promise of heaven, I do not know how I would make it through this time.
I continue to have sweet people ask how I am doing.
Well, I'm fine when I wake up. I've made it a habit for the past 14 years, when I suddenly became a single mom living at the Children's Home, to have my first thought be "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and I will be glad in it."
I'm fine when I go to sleep: I always fall asleep quickly and sleep hard.
It's just that pesky time in between waking and falling asleep that gives me the problems.
Today, I just decided to "go for it" after church and spend a day out on my own. To my delight, I can be good company to myself. I revisited the restaurant D and I always went to for Sunday brunch. The hostess tried to sit me in the "usual" booth, and when I told her why I'd rather have the single table by the window she teared up and returned with the manager, a dear friend. She and our usual waiter were so sweet that I think I can do lunch there often. (The extra scones were also appreciated.) I went to my favorite antique store and found a child-sized chair that matches a Stickley chair we already own for just $20. Score! I went to Walmart to take advantage of the huge sale they are having on school supplies because I always buy extra for students who won't have them. The couple behind me asked if I was a teacher buying supplies for my room with my own money. When I replied yes, they handed me $10 to help out students they will never know. How sweet is that? On a total whim I decided to go to the Palace theater for the matinee performance of the musical "Big River" and I got the last ticket in the house. It was a little long for me at this point, but I'm proud of myself for going for it.
So, today was a better day. Jury is still out on tomorrow. But I have to share the most precious thing yet.
I finally decided to go through one of D's drawers in our room. It was filled with the cards I have given him over the years. I sat on the bed with the entire drawer and pulled them out one by one and thoroughly enjoyed each and every one of them. I'm glad that memories make me happy and not sad. When I'd pulled out the last card, I saw a leather folder that looked like a checkbook holder. Inside it was a note that said, " For D and R's Trip to Italy" and underneath it there was a heart with DO + RO drawn inside. There was a catalog of Italy tours, a DVD of the tours, and enough money to make the trip. Left for me by D. And found on the day when I really needed it the most.
This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice, rejoice, rejoice and be glad, glad, glad in it.